How to Make New Habits Stick
I remember when I started rock climbing. I always loved climbing trees as a kid. I had gone indoor climbing a few times in my life, but never got serious about it. Then I moved to Santa Monica and I was finally close to a small climbing gym called Rockreation. Now that I was close to a real climbing gym I wanted to get serious about it.
But climbing is hard. No joke.
Have you ever gone climbing just for fun? The regular climbers make it look so easy. Then you get on the wall and realize how difficult it really is. After 15 minutes your hands start to hurt, your forearms are burning out, and your lats are pumped. It’s a humbling experience.
Now, I’m an athlete and I will always be an athlete. That’s my mindset. I played Division 1 soccer at the University of San Francisco, and I am no stranger to sports and outdoor activities. When people talk about addictions I usually think of endorphins. I was ready to start a new hobby and I had my heart set on climbing.
But I quickly found out that my athleticism would not allow me to immediately be good at climbing. No way. Every weekend there’s a handful of meatheads like me who walk into climbing gyms and realize that all those deadlifts and bench presses don’t translate into grip strength and climbing technique.
EVERYONE who starts climbing - or any new activity, for that matter - will have a learning curve. The only way they will ever get good is if they form some new habits.
Thankfully, I’m stubborn. Some stiff fingers and swollen forearms are not enough to scare me away.
I started going to the climbing gym exclusively. Eventually I became a competent climber, progressing from top-roping to bouldering, lead/sport climbing, and eventually making it outside.
Top-roping in Malibu Creek, Malibu, CA
I was able to develop my climbing strength and skills through a few very important behavior modifications:
First, I made going to the climbing gym my primary method of exercise. The veterans told me I would need 6 months of dedication to develop the tendon and ligament strength to climb effectively. That meant climbing 2-3 days a week, minimum. So I focused my energy there: The climbing gym, 2-3 times a week.
Second, I practiced habit stacking and combined climbing with my workout routine. I would climb for an hour or two, then work out. Since I already had a regular workout habit that felt natural to me, adding climbing into the mix was easy.
Third, I started small. After burning out in my first few climbing sessions, I started climbing for short intervals. Half an hour, then 45 minutes, then a full hour. I slowly worked up to 2-3 hour climbing sessions.
Fourth, since I was going to the climbing gym all the time, my climbing equipment found it’s way into my car as a staple. It was always there and ready for me whenever I wanted to climb. Again, easy. No work required to pack my gear.
Finally, in joining a small climbing gym like Rockreation I had become part of a community and culture that loved climbing. One day there was a sign-up sheet for people looking for belay buddies (in climbing, “belaying” is the term used to refer to the person holding the rope). Lo and behold, a few days later I received a call from Kyle Kobe, a high school biology teacher who would become a great friend and climbing partner (and who also has a fantastic YouTube channel called Beverly Biology, check it out if your teenager needs to pass that next biology test!).
With a new climbing partner and a new friend, I had officially become part of the community. I made a lot of new friends and got to pick the brains of experienced climbers every week. Within 6 months I was feeling strong and tackling harder routes. After a couple years I started feeling like a veteran as new people occasionally asked me for tips.
Without those key behavior changes I never would have stuck with it.
The Unconscious Nature of Habits, And How to Develop New, Permanent Habits
According to a study by researchers at Duke University, up to 45% of our daily behaviors (habits) are automatic.
That's right. You don't consciously make decisions about almost half the things you do every day. Instead, they're the product of old habits and new habits you've formed over time.
Of course, some of our habits are inconsequential. Maybe you like to drink out of the same coffee mug every morning or listen to the same playlist when you arrive home from work each night. Most of these "little" habits have minor effects on your health, your work, or your family life.
However, what about creating new habits? Would you like to get into a better routine of working out, going to bed earlier, or being more productive at work? Would you like your team or coworkers to develop a new habit that can make your company more efficient and increase the value you provide to clients and customers? Can you stick with it for a few days or a few weeks, but you can't seem to make the behavior a permanent one?
Perhaps you've heard that it takes 21 days to solidify a new habit - a theory that was debunked a while ago. Experts now believe it takes an average of 66 days to make a new habit permanent (automatic). It might take 21 days to gain momentum towards solidifying a new habit, and if you repeat a new habit enough times within 21 days it might become permanent.
But 21 days is too short a time frame to rely on, especially if you’re trying to establish new habits in the workplace for a whole organization. The “66 days” statistic is a better metric to aim for, and we would go a step further and recommend you aim for 90 days of repetition to make sure new habits get established firmly.
If you've been struggling to eliminate bad habits and form better ones, you're not alone. You CAN form better habits. It just takes a few changes. Here’s a few tips for how to form new habits and stick with them.
1. Focus on One New Habit at a Time
It's easy to get carried away when it comes to self-improvement. You get motivated one day and you make a long list of all those new habits you want to start and goals you want to accomplish.
In your momentary enthusiasm, you make a very common mistake: you overcommit.
This is one reason why 81% of people have given up on their New Year's resolutions by mid-January. It's unrealistic to think that you can start a diet, go to the gym, quit smoking, spend more time with the kids, and land that big promotion at work - all at the same time.
Why do we all struggle to "multi-task" our goals? Research suggests it's because of the ego-depletion effect.
Simply put, we each have a limited amount of willpower each day. We often use up our available willpower on necessary tasks, such as working or caring for our families. As a result, we're not able to exert the same amount of effort and self-control on subsequent (unrelated) tasks.
In other words, the more our willpower is spread out in other areas of our lives, the less capable we are of regulating our emotions and actions. Rather than successfully creating four new habits at once, you'll fail four times over because there's not enough willpower to go around.
The solution?
Write down your goals and prioritize which new habit you want to form first. After you've chosen one new habit, focus on it and stick with it until it's permanent. Once you've succeeded, you can move on to the next habit you want to form.
2. Make Use of Habit Stacking
This might sound related to the previous point, but the concept is totally different. Rather than trying to create an entirely new habit, look for ways to attach or "stack" a new habit onto an existing one.
Here are some examples:
Stack flossing onto your usual habit of brushing your teeth
Stack meal planning onto your usual habit of grocery shopping
Stack journaling onto your usual habit of reading before bedtime
Stack taking vitamins onto your usual habit of making your morning coffee
Or stack climbing onto your strength workouts
Why does habit stacking work? You're using a powerful foundation - a habit you've already formed - as a launching pad for a new habit. Rather than waiting for the thought to cross your mind, you use an existing habit as a trigger for a new habit.
For example, how many times a day do you think about flossing your teeth? Probably never. But no doubt you reach for that toothbrush about twice a day, so placing a roll of floss beside it serves as a visual reminder to upgrade the habit.
What if you want to get into a habit of drinking more water? Stack hydration onto the "anchor" activity of eating a meal. Keep a water bottle in the kitchen or next to your packed lunch and drink all of it (assuming it’s a reasonable size) with your meal.
To start a new habit using the stacking method: Write down everything you normally do in a day, including the small details of your routine (walking the dog, emptying the laundry basket, calling your mother, etc.), then look for activities that are logical anchors for new habits you want to form.
3. Start with Incremental Changes
Do you want to write a novel? That's great!
But if writing isn't already part of your daily routine, setting such a lofty goal could backfire. Rather than providing you with motivation, you could feel so overwhelmed and discouraged that you quit before you start.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with setting long-term goals. But if you're wondering how to form new habits to help you achieve them, the trick is to start small. Set SMART goals that are:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time-Bound
Let's say you love the idea of writing a novel but you don't know where to start. Try adopting the habit of writing 50 words a day. It's not much - just three or four sentences - but it will help you to form a new habit of writing daily.
Once you're consistently writing 50 words a day (journaling, poetry, freewriting, etc.), bump up your habit to 100 words a day. Then 200. Then 500. If you don’t want to use word count as a metric, you can use time. Set a goal of writing for 5 minutes every day. After you establish that habit you can bump it up to 10 minutes, then 30, then an hour.
The point is: Start small. Start embarrassingly small, if you need to. Creating new habits becomes easier when they're divvied up into bite-sized chunks.
Then, once the foundation is there, you can slowly expand that "anchor" habit or stack more new habits on top of it.
4. Know Your "Why"
99% of the time, the "why" is going to be more important than the "what." Empty resolutions and feelings of shame will never be enough to help you create and stick with new habits.
As an example, we all know it's important to exercise. But a vague guilty feeling ("I really should go to the gym") isn't enough motivation - at least not in the long run - to get off the couch and go.
Creating new habits requires digging deep. Forget the things you should do and definitely forget why other people do them. Instead, think about why you want to create a new habit and stick with it.
Write down a list of reasons that matter to you. Sticking with our example of exercise, your "why" could include:
Staying healthy enough to enjoy your favorite hobbies
Having more energy to play with your kids
Being able to focus better on your work
Having more energy during the day to do the things you love
Finally fitting back into your favorite pair of jeans
Research shows that you're 42% more likely to achieve a goal if you have a written reminder. So don't just think about your reasons and goals. Take out that pen and physically write them down.
Bonus tip: Make sure you're replacing lost emotional needs as you try to form new habits. If you used to watch TV to help you relax, fill that void with reading or listening to music. If you're trying to gain control of impulse buying, replace it with another enjoyable habit like gardening or visiting nearby (free) attractions.
5. Plan for Interruptions & Complications
No matter how good your intentions and time management skills are, life happens. Obstacles will appear and put a wrench in your efforts to establish a new habit.
Think about some common roadblocks you could encounter. These might include bad weather, feeling too tired, or not having enough time. Don't forget about internal struggles too, such as feelings of anxiety or self-consciousness.
Next, make a battle plan using the "if-then" strategy. Think about all the "ifs" that could thwart your goals, then create a specific plan for each scenario.
Here are some examples to help you visualize the concept:
If I don't have enough time tonight, I'll wake up 20 minutes earlier tomorrow to work on my new habit
If I check the weather forecast and it's going to rain, I'll go to the gym instead of going for a run
If I have a really stressful day at the office, I'll write in my journal tonight instead of working on my novel
If I feel self-conscious about my looks, I'll focus on body positivity for the day
If I'm tempted to impulse-buy on Amazon, I'll take my dog for a walk instead
The more prepared you are for those days when nothing seems to go right, the better your odds of sticking with your new habit.
6. Use Technology to Your Advantage
Technology often gets touted as the enemy, but when you use it correctly, it can help with your efforts to create new habits.
As an example, do you want to improve your company’s communication and problem-solving skills? Subscribe to Habitly and have everyone watch short episodes designed to help you improve your relationships and productivity!
To help you track your progress and celebrate successes, download a habit tracker app for your phone. Set daily reminders for yourself if you have difficulty remembering to complete your new habit. A little notification that says "Study for 15 minutes" might be all you need to stay on track.
Also, there's power in numbers, so don't be afraid to be vocal about your goals. Share your journey on social media or online forums and join communities related to your new habit. Better yet, get an accountability partner so you can help each other stay motivated.
Another suggestion is to get a Kindle (or download an e-reader app) and read the latest and greatest books about improving your habits.
7. Be Determined Not to Break the Chain
One reason I became a competent climber is because I developed a consistent climbing habit and never stopped. Even now I use my hang board every morning.
Jerry Seinfeld might not be the first person you picture when you think of creating new habits, but he offers valuable advice on how to form new habits.
Rule number one: Don't break the chain.
When he was an up-and-coming comedian, he set the simple goal of writing one joke a day. Even if he felt tired, depressed, uninspired, or hungover, he was determined to write at least one joke daily.
How did he reach his goal? He posted a large calendar on his wall and, every day he wrote a joke, he drew a red "X" on that date. Soon he had a powerful visual reminder of his goal - a long chain of red "X's" that reminded him of his hard work.
You can harness the power of "the chain" by doing something similar yourself. Don't wait for motivation or inspiration to strike, because some days it won't.
Instead, hold yourself accountable with a visual reminder of the daily habit you want to form. The longer your chain gets, the more motivated you'll be not to break it.
You Can Successfully Create New Habits
If you've been trying (without success) to form a new habit, I can assure you that you're not alone. Many of our habits are deeply ingrained, which makes creating new habits a real challenge!
To help you succeed, bookmark this list and refer back to it as you continue your research about how to form new habits. And if you're ready to dive deeper into other areas of self-improvement, we have more tools that can help.
Habitly is your go-to source for improving soft skills and achieving personal success. We know exactly what it takes to become a highly successful individual, and we're happy to share our knowledge with you.
We proudly offer full-length courses on a variety of topics, from time management and leadership to empathy and etiquette. Click here to browse our full list of courses and get one step closer to forming those new (and better) habits.
